It's been a tough three days the first part of this week. It all started Sunday. First, I lost our tithe, and then that afternoon, while putting a few ornaments on the tree, I almost caught the house on fire. I had lit a couple of candles and one was on the coffee table with the big cardboard box that held the ornaments. Somehow, the lid scooted over the flame on the candle, and voila! flames were leaping in the air when I turned around! I tried to beat the flames out with a dust rag, to no avail. I ran, and I mean ran, to the kitchen and grabbed a pitcher, filled it with some water and threw it on the flames. The fire still wasn't out completely, so I repeated that action and finally, it was out. But…there was water all over the place and what I thought was soot on the carpet. Turns out, that I actually burned the carpet. The nylon melted. And to top that off, Gracie found a seam and loose thread, and has actually ripped out a rectangle, about 2" by 3" long. Our homeowners insurance has a $1,000 deductible, so that's out of the question, especially here at Christmas!
The stress has caused my pain level to go back up. I had been feeling so good, and yesterday I ended calling my oncologist's nurse. She assured me that stress at this time of year is common, and that stress increases pain.
And today at BSF, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart again! We're up to John chapter 8. The religious Jews and Jesus were on completely different pages and their words (the Jews) were always aimed at trying to trip Jesus up. Lori, our teaching leader, really zeroed in on the fact that you must first be convicted of sin before you will ever go to God for forgiveness. And the Holy Spirit zinged my heart…I know something is SIN in my life when I don't tell Doug what I've done.
I have a BIG problem with spending money. I love to bargain shop, but as Doug as told me repeatedly -- it's not a bargain if you have no money! I have a tendency to think that Doug's money is our money and my disability check is my money. I cashed my disability check and took cash to pay for my new glasses and tithe. That was my first mistake.
Second, I went Christmas shopping and ended up spending more than I intended. And that's what started the past three-day slump I've been in. It wasn't the actual Christmas gifts that caused the problem; it was those extra little bargains that I came home with. I'm not going to lie and say that I should probably take those items back to the store. I love them and I won't take them back. But in the future, I am going to have to exercise discipline when it comes to shopping. I am going to have to be deliberate and limit myself as to what I spend. And I'm going to have to start looking at all income as our income. And the way I'm going to know if I've over-stepped my bounds is if I tell Doug what I've spent and show him the items I purchase.
I am going to have to be accountable. Any accountability partners available?
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As I was reading this post, before I got to the very end, my first thought, she needs an accountability partner! Realizing there is a problem is the first step. Bryan and I have always had "our" money. What helps us, is paying our tithe and bills and necessities first. Then, whatever is left over, we can spend. If it is very little, too bad, there is always next month. Begin praying over this matter. God will equip you, you just have to respond in obedience. Also, we have a budget for each month. I do ours on excel and that also holds me accountable. One more thing, I struggle with what will people think of something so little (meaning a small gift or inexpensive gift) and then I tell myself...I am responding in obedience to God. My first action is to honor him, not others. Much Love!!
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