Sunday, December 6, 2009

I really don't want to talk about this, but . . .

It's been a while since I've posted.  Last Wednesday I came home from BSF to Scott and Brandon and James at my house.  It was so good to see them, but what pleased me even more was that Eric had picked Scott and Brandon up at Dallas Love Field.  In fact, Eric arranged their coming.  That night all four of our older sons came together to discuss my funeral plans, but what they mainly wanted to do was to discuss how we all were going to pay for it.  It just warmed my heart to think that my children wanted to help me in that way.  I was so proud of them.  Eric facilitated the meeting, but each present spoke their feelings.  I have just never had anything to touch me like their willingness to even discuss something as uncomfortable as a funeral.

Eric assigned each of us tasks that we are to accomplish by February 1, 2010.   That's when we are going to come together again--probably by way of Skype.  Doug has already started on his assignment; one of the women who works in the school administration building (I think she handles employee benefits) is also a licensed funeral director and she is giving him some guidance.  I had just assumed we would use the mortuary here in Celina, but she told Doug of one in McKinney that is about $3,000 less expensive!  WOW!  (And Vicki, as I was typing "McKinney", do you realize that McKinney is where Grandma Pevehouse [Clara] was born?!  It just always amazes me that Doug lives so close to the area where his grandmother was born and we also live near Aubrey which is where her father [your and Doug's great-grandfather is buried]).  Excuse that aside note if you're not Vicki.  Anyway back to "the plans".  We'll wait until after Christmas to do the rest of our assignment.  We are to make an appointment with the funeral home and get a bottom line price.  Then I am to call either AARP or the insurance company that Alec Trebec advertises and see about getting an insurance policy to cover funeral expenses.

Now even though we had this meeting and are making plans, I informed the boys the other night that I don't believe that I am going to die in the near future!  I still believe that God touched my body at the Arise! Cry Out! prayer meeting I went to a few weeks ago.  And my oncologist confirmed what I shared with her about that day.  At my check-up last week she agreed that there is a large knot on my rib cage, but she said that that could mean healing.  When calcium forms over a fracture it makes a large knot.  We won't know for sure until next month when I actually have a PET scan.  But I felt a strange pain after the prayer meeting in my back.  It was at the location of the original metastasis in my spine, and I pictured God sucking the cancer right out of my body at that spot!  I think that the PET scan will show a marked improvement over the last time.  And even if the cancer isn't gone, a person can live years with cancer still in their body.  And that's what I'm counting on!

It was so sweet the way the boys kept reassuring me that they wanted things done just the way I wanted them to be done.  I had looked on the Internet at the Casket Store here in Dallas.  They actually showed a casket that is pale pink.  I loved it!  That's what I would like to be buried in, since pink is my sig-na-cha cou-lah!  Seriously though, I told them that I want my homegoing celebration to be just that . . .  a celebration!  At the moment I die physically, I will be more alive spiritually than I've ever been before!  I'll be reunited with family members that have gone on before me, I'll be singing in a sweet-sounding voice, worshiping my King, and I'll be able to see Jesus face-to-face!  And although I long for that day, I just don't feel it is going to happen as quickly as I did a couple of months ago.  I want Jared and Whitney to sing Wonderful, Merciful Savior, and Jared is going to sing a couple of solos.  I told them I want 3 - 5 songs.  I love music and I know that Jesus inhabits our praise, so I know He will be present at that service.

Eric is checking into what all is involved in burying me in Oklahoma, next to Papaw and Big Grandma.  Scott is checking into the cost of tombstones.  I don't really have any big desires on tombstones, but we all agreed that it would be a double one.  Between our names I'd like there to be a heart and our wedding date, and somehow I'd like it to also read, "Mother of Scott, James, Eric, Jared, Alyssa, Shane, Dylan, and Trent."  I'd also like it to say, "She loved Jesus and being a mother."

And all that talk really made me think about the dash that will be written someday.  November 2, 1955 - whatever date.  The first date is my birth and the last date will be my death, but that dash represents my LIFE!  What will be my legacy?  What will people remember about me?  What words sum up my life?  

Although our family meeting was about a morbid subject, and it wasn't the most comfortable subject to talk about, we had it and it was done just the way I always picture our family to be:  together as a unit, united, each part of that three-fold chord, loving each other.  It was a sweet time, a poignant memory.  Thanks, Eric, for having the courage and foresight to pull us together.

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad the meeting went very well! It is good to see your changed perspective. Eric is a natural born leader, isn't he. Looking forward to seeing you this weekend.

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